TRANSFARMAGEDDON! - Celtic Da Weekly

Never let it be said we don't enjoy a good meltdown

Hello, good morning, and welcome to the Celtic Da Weekly—the Friday column that is as consistent in its delivery as Maeda. We don’t always get it right, but when we do, oh my goodness, you’d think we meant it. And with that rare moment of self-praise out of the way, let’s get started on what will inevitably be a very disappointing column.

Since Monday, Celtic fan media has been locked in its own version of Looney Tunes, with one half screaming, “Duck Season!” and the other bellowing, “Wabbit Season!” The transfer window has either been an unmitigated disaster or a masterclass in squad management. There is no in-between. Because in this modern world of ours, there is no space for balanced, nuanced, "aye, I can see both sides" punters who just want to go watch Celtic without turning every game into a battle of ideologies. EVERYONE MUST HAVE AN OPINION! Preferably one delivered in all caps with the certainty of a man who’s spent the last 48 hours in a dark room watching YouTube compilations of a guy we’re linked with, playing against plumbers in the Norwegian third tier.

But by this stage in the week, everything that needs to be said has already been said—usually by the likes of Andrew H and Critical Bill, and in a much more articulate and coherent fashion than regular readers have come to expect from this column. So rather than rehashing all that, let’s attempt a rare moment of balance—call it Celtic Centrist Da Weekly.

(We will of course be calling this week’s column “TRANSFARMAGEDDON!” because you’ve no idea how well that sucks in the punters from places like Newsnow. Either that or “Incredible comment from former Rangers player in the Daily Record” or something. Folk seem to lap that stuff up.)