FIFA's Farago, Hipster High-jinks and Hungarians in Hoops? - Celtic Da Weekly

The football never stops. That's not necessarily a good thing.

Hello, good evening and welcome to the Celtic Da Weekly - the Celtic fan column that’s already had quite enough of this close season. Scotland V Iceland? Why would we want to watch Grant Hanley get beat for pace off the guy in charge of the frozen peas aisle? That’s not football.

This week we witnessed the dawn of a new error down Ibrox way with the introduction of Russell “Rusty” Martin as the new Head Coach. I’ve got to be honest and say I quite like the cut of this guy’s jib. I dunno what a jib is or why you’d cut one but that’s what I think and you can’t stop me. Let’s face it - he’s a vegan, Buddhist, Green Party voter who is concerned with the amount of palm oil in his shampoo with a wife who supports the Palestinian people. So much for 'Keep woke foreign ideologies out – defend Europe', they can’t even keep them out of their manager’s office. Dear God, the good people of Larkhall didn’t vote Reform on Thursday only for this to be inflicted upon them. It’s absolute woke nonsense. Again. Not so much barbarians at the gate as hipsters at the hunnery. Mind you, at least he has access to the very environmentally friendly club bike to get to work. It’s the only thing left in that trophy room.

I had to admit to a slight concern about the appointment of the Green Guardiola, the Vegan Valverde, the Avocado Alonso, the Macchiato Mourinho (I’ve kicked the arse out of that I know but one more) the Kimchi Klopp. And it’s not because I think he’ll be particularly good. It’s more down to the fact that they all seem to think he’s going to be absolutely terrible. They’ve never been right before so I don’t see why they should start now. Worrying. Brown birkenstocks will, I fear, not be enough to placate the hordes.