Celtic Da Weekly 26/07/24

Brought to you in association with the Las Vegas convention Pool Party

Hello, good evening and welcome to the Celtic Da Weekly. Feels like you never understand me so I just want to drive to the airport. The airport, the airport, the airport. But it’s £5.50 for just ten minutes in the drop off bit so is it okay if I just leave you up at the BP Garage?

Yes it’s another weekly dose of irrelevant nonsense designed to make your final day of the week a bit more bearable.  Once again, we find ourselves trying to impart some semblance of coherence into what is essentially a weekly dollop of drivel. It’s like trying to explain Brexit to a piano. Of course, given the time that this is actually being written you’ll already be face down in Yates Wine Lodge, or wherever the bright young things go after work on a Friday evening to question the meaningless void of netflix, lattes and mullets that is their lives. Just please, please, please don’t go to Wundabar. We both know why. Grow up, for heaven’s sake. It’s true what they say, there’s no fool like an old fool.

You’ll be queuing up outside Firewater on a Thursday night next.

Well, blimey, Matt O’Riley, what a week it’s been here on Substack for sensible football articles. You could read this, or this, or even this. Or you could listen to this excellent discussion on scouting and disliking Hearts. And none of it involves regurgitating the garbage from local tabloids. Quite impressive, really - almost like the glory days of the early 2000s.

It’s just as well there’s been decent content this week because there’s none of that here today. We’re just here to talk about rotten third strips and transfer rumours, and we’re all out of transfer rumours.

So, after that build-up, how can you resist? Alright, fine, we’ll make something up just for you. But please, please, please, after this, get out of Wundabar and go home to your family. You’ll thank us in the morning.