Celtic Da Weekly 21/06/24

Brought to you in association with the feeling that there's a joke here somewhere and it's on you

Hello, good morning, and welcome. It’s the Celtic Da Weekly - Halted Construction Edition. This is the weekly Celtic column for folk who have a section of their wardrobe full of clothes that they are convinced they’ll one day fit into again. And you know what? You will. You’ll have been dead for five years and very badly decomposed, but by God, that Benetton shirt you liked 20 years ago will look great on you once more.

Yes, this column is for a very particular individual. It’s for those of us who looked at the sponsorship at the Euros and, when we spotted “Lidl,” instantly told anyone within earshot that Aldi is better. And if only they did those pretzels, you’d buy one of their middle-aisle tents and live in their car park.

Now, listen. Or, now, read. Even though we’ve only been back doing this for a few weeks, it’s clear that a refined individual such as yourself expects honesty and transparency from your weekly column of nonsense. So I have to admit something here - I’m going to go back on a promise I made a couple of weeks ago. I know I said we’d do a rumour mill on the first Friday of each month, but I’ve got a few things to share, and based on the fact that the big Ibrox story didn’t keep for just another 24 hours, I may as well get them off my chest today. So more rumours it is.