Celtic Da Weekly 01/11/24

A day late and a pound short

Hello, good morning, and welcome to the Celtic Da Weekly. Yes, yes, we know. Like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, “we’re late, we’re late”. But what you don’t know is that, also like the white rabbit, we currently don’t have any pants on. (Don’t you dare come at me with images from that Disney film - I’m talking classics here you ignoramus.)

I can offer you two reasons for this latecoming and you can decide which one you prefer. On Thursday evening, when I usually overdose on blue smarties before attempting to write this, I was either at the Scooter gig at the Hydro (standing quietly at the very back, occasionally tapping my toe in time with this popular beat combo), or I was hiding under the table in the darkened back room to pretend the house was empty in order to avoid the social awkwardness of guisers coming to the door and me feeling obliged to finish the punchlines of 5 year olds terrible jokes - “He’s got no body. Next, They are dead tired. Next. Dead-ication. Next. Trick or tweet!” Next. The Aristocrats. Wait, what? What age are you?”

For me, the joke that all Celtic Das should have been using for Halloween is this one - 

What does a Rangers ghost say? “Fuckin’ BoooOOOOooOOOoOoooOoo!”